Jianghu Demolition Squad

Between Buddha and Demon (Part Nine)

Hua Lian, typically a refined and eloquent man, found himself resorting to vulgar language in his frustration. He felt no other words could so accurately express his exasperation and disapproval.

“If you love her, you should be together!”

The Xuhuai Valley was filled with the subtle fragrance of flowers and herbs, a soothing aroma that calmed the mind and spirit. Its inhabitants, devoted to healing and preserving life, radiated a gentle warmth. Even the breeze seemed to carry a touch of their kindness.

“Not everyone who loves each other is meant to be together, Hua Lian,” Qing Jiu replied, her voice low and weary.

Hua Lian laughed in exasperation, “If mutual love isn’t enough, what is? You’re not holding back because you’re both women, are you? You’ve never struck me as someone bound by such conventions.”

Qing Jiu rubbed her eyes, exhausted and lacking the energy to deal with Hua Lian’s persistent questioning. But she knew him well enough to understand he wouldn’t rest until he got to the bottom of things.

“Not being meant to be together simply means I don’t want to marry her. We’re not the same,” Qing Jiu stated.

“How can you say you’re not the same…” Hua Lian began to argue.

Qing Jiu cut him off, her voice hardening. “She’s the young mistress of both Mingjian Manor and Juxiao Manor,” she stated. “She has a family, responsibilities, a legacy to uphold, and a reputation to protect. I have nothing. I come and go as I please, unburdened, my future uncertain, enemies at every turn.”

Hua Lian dismissed her concerns, “None of that matters to Yu’er! She would gladly give it all up for you. There’s no doubt in my mind!”

Qing Jiu’s lips were pale, her hand pressed against her forehead as she closed her eyes. “It might not have mattered before,” she conceded, “but Mingjian Manor has invested six years in nurturing her. They have never failed her. Are you suggesting she should simply abandon them, turn her back on their kindness, and become an ungrateful wretch?”

Hua Lian was speechless, momentarily silenced by her words. He shifted tactics. “These are all your assumptions,” he pointed out. “This concerns Yu’er too. Shouldn’t you discuss this with her?”

“It’s not a matter for discussion,” Qing Jiu replied. “It’s my decision. I don’t want to be with her. My choices are my own. I don’t need anyone’s approval.”

Hua Lian sprang to his feet, pointing his fan at her accusingly. “You… you…” He sighed, his voice heavy with disappointment. “Yu’er was right. Your heart has grown colder. You don’t care about anything anymore.”

His frustration over her current decision bled into past grievances, resurfacing the hurt he felt over her deception and her refusal to acknowledge him after they reunited.

Their relationship was deeper than kin, his guilt and concern so intense he felt he could tear out his own heart. She hadn’t died, yet she hadn’t come to see him! If not for Yu’er revealing her mask, who knows how long she would have kept it a secret.

“Absolutely heartless!”

Hua Lian stood up, turning to face Qing Jiu, but his glance drifted to someone nearby. He turned to look, his eyes widening in surprise, “Yu’er…”

Yu’er was standing under the eaves, about ten steps away, likely having heard every word.

Qing Jiu got up and turned to look; Yu’er was staring at her, holding a tray of pastries, the other dangling a string of beads that swayed gently.

Yu’er turned and walked away, Hua Lian called out to her, but she pretended not to hear.

“You got your wish!” Hua Lian snapped, glaring at Qing Jiu. “Will you be happy when you see Yu’er marry someone else? Hah! You’ll be the one crying then! Qing Jiu, oh Qing Jiu, you once urged me to cherish the one I loved, to marry Xun’er and keep her close before something happened, before it was too late. Well, now the tables have turned, and I’m urging you to think carefully. I am living proof of what can happen!”

Qing Jiu placed a hand over her heart, her breathing growing labored.

Hua Lian saw her forehead beaded with sweat, his heart skipping a beat: “Qing Jiu, what’s wrong!”

“Mo Wen…” Before she could finish, her eyes closed, and she collapsed forward.

When she next opened her eyes, the room was brightly lit, and the sudden brightness made her squint uncomfortably. She heard Hua Lian’s voice nearby, “She’s awake.”

Mo Wen came to sit by the bed, took Qing Jiu’s hand to check her pulse, and slightly inclined her head to say, “For now, there’s no immediate danger.”

Mo Wen addressed Qing Jiu, “The Ghost Sect’s antidote is too strong. It’s only a temporary solution, and your body can’t handle it anymore. You can’t take it again. From now on, you’ll use the medicine I prepare for you.”

Qing Jiu glanced at Hua Lian, “You know everything now.”

Mo Wen immediately felt uncomfortable and walked away to grind some medicine at the table.

“I pressed her,” Hua Lian admitted, his voice low and tight. “She couldn’t hide it from me. Why didn’t you tell me about something so important?!”

“I just hadn’t figured out how to tell you. Besides, you know now anyway,” Qing Jiu replied, resting the back of her hand on her forehead, eyes closed. “Now that things are like this, it feels more like I’m making final arrangements.”

Hua Lian glared at her, furious at her flippant tone, her apparent indifference to her own fate. “Just shut up!” he snapped, storming out of the room.

After Hua Lian left, Qing Jiu lay silently in bed, turning away, with only the sound of Mo Wen grinding medicine filling the quiet room.

Qing Jiu curled up on the bed, hugging her knees to her chest, her brow furrowed in pain.

Words couldn’t express the weight of her sorrow, the complex emotions that swirled within her.

Early the next morning, Tang Linzhi came to visit. As they chatted, Yu’er entered the room, then abruptly stopped, her foot hovering just inside the doorway.

Yu’er said to Tang Linzhi, “Linzhi, breakfast is ready. Tell Qing Jiu to come eat.”

Tang Linzhi looked at her strangely, then turned to look at Qing Jiu. Yu’er’s request was odd – the person was right there, why relay messages? Though confused, she relayed the message, “Qing Jiu, let’s go eat.”

Qing Jiu looked at Yu’er and said through Tang Linzhi, “Linzhi, tell her I’m not going, I’m not hungry.”

Tang Linzhi then looked at Yu’er, “She’s still ill and probably too weak to move.”

Yu’er responded, “Linzhi, tell her that if she doesn’t want to see me, she shouldn’t skip meals. It’s her own health that matters. I’ll go back to my room and won’t bother her.”

Tang Linzhi turned to Qing Jiu, “She said that…”

Qing Jiu said, “Linzhi, tell her I never said I didn’t want to see her, and she doesn’t need to avoid me.”

Tang Linzhi looked at Yu’er, then at Qing Jiu, her face full of confusion, “What are you two doing? Just talk to each other!”

She then left the room in frustration.

Silence stretched between Yu’er and Qing Jiu, heavy and thick with unspoken emotions. Finally, Yu’er spoke, her voice low and steady. “Back at the Qixian Palace, you made a promise,” she said. “Then, back at Mngjian Manor, you urged me to stay. Now you use that same incident to push me away, claiming we’re not the same.”

Qing Jiu remained silent. Yu’er smiled sadly, “Qing Jiu, am I that easy to fool?”

That day, everyone in the small courtyard knew they had argued.

When Jun Sixue learned that Qing Jiu was the person her younger sister had been searching for all these years, she was so furious she nearly choked. After hearing about their argument, she wanted to punch Qing Jiu but then thought better of it, knowing it would only hurt her sister. Torn by these conflicting feelings, she glared daggers at Qing Jiu all day.

Yang Chun was terrified, and Qi Tianzhu felt awkward. Neither wanted to stay where Yu’er and Qing Jiu were together.

Their relationship was no secret to their companions.

Upon learning about the reason for their argument, Yang Chun discussed with Qi Tianzhu and Hua Lian, saying, “Brother Hua Lian, Brother Qi, we can’t let them go on like this. I can’t bare the tension. Miss Yu’er’s face expression is cold enough to freeze someone, and Qing Jiu’s eyes are scary enough to kill. We need to find a way to make them reconcile.”

Hua Lian lay back in his chair, gazing up at the sky and muttered, “It’s going to be difficult,” he sighed.

Yangchun said to Hua Lian, “Brother Hua Lian, you and Qing Jiu grew up together like childhood sweethearts. You’re the most familiar with her temperament. Why don’t you try talking to her?”

“What can I say?”

Despite his protest, that night he brought several jars of wine to the flower field and called Qing Jiu over. He tapped a wine jar with his folding fan and suggested, “Let’s talk some more.”

Qing Jiu stood with her arms crossed, clearly reluctant based on the aftermath of their last drinking session.

“Won’t you even have a drink with me as an apology for deceiving me?” Hua Lian challenged.

With nothing to say, Qing Jiu quietly sat down.

Hua Lian originally planned to get Qing Jiu drunk and then easily extract information from her. Now aware of her condition, he understood that she didn’t want to hold Yu’er back. Her previous words were merely to hide her true feelings.

People change when they have something to lose. They can’t just act recklessly, seeking only their own pleasure.

But Hua Lian thought Qing Jiu should be different. She was someone who always followed her heart, living life on her own terms. Death and separation shouldn’t scare her into holding back.

He figured that being surrounded by death and hatred for years, and fighting it all alone had cornered her, which explained why she wasn’t as carefree as before.

With this realization, Hua Lian felt the solution was simple. He just needed to draw out her true feelings. Qing Jiu was perceptive; once she voiced her thoughts, she could figure things out for herself.

However, extracting her true feelings might require drastic measures.

Using alcohol to speak truths might be a crude method, but it was practical; being too clever could backfire with someone like her.

Hua Lian managed to get Qing Jiu to drink a substantial amount of wine, but in the end, he was the one who ended up drunk first. Qing Jiu’s tolerance was higher than he expected, and he had underestimated her.

This embarrassing scene caught the attention of some onlookers hidden in the shadows. Carrying their own jars, they passed by, mockingly teasing, “Drinking without us? That’s not very friendly!”

What followed was a relentless drinking game, determined to leave her utterly intoxicated.

Wine spilled all over the ground, and everyone was a mess, except for Qing Jiu, who remained seated, composed and alert.

In the flower field under the clear, moonlit sky with a chill of autumn, the cold breeze made the lively scene of blooming flowers seem less lonely.

Even Yan Li eventually joined them. She sat next to Qing Jiu with her whisk in hand and commented, “It’s quite lively.”

Holding her cup, Qing Jiu asked, “Will you join me for a drink?”

Yan Li smiled faintly, accepting a clean cup and pouring herself some wine. “The courtyard is small,” she replied, clinking her cup against Qing Jiu’s. “Everyone knows about you and her.”

“I never imagined you and Yu’er would be like me.”

Qing Jiu hummed through her nose, “Who could have foreseen this, until faced with it?”

“True, who could have imagined that someone like you would engage in such childish squabbles?”

“It’s her who’s angry with me.”

“Isn’t she angry because of what you said?”

They continued to drink and chat.

As Yan Li gazed at the moon, slightly tipsy, she sighed and advised Qing Jiu, “Qing Jiu, people can come and go, but feelings aren’t so easily severed.”

Qing Jiu asked, “Yan Li, are you trying to convince me, or are you trying to convince yourself?”

Yan Li took a long drink, her usually clear eyes now clouded with a hazy mist.

Qing Jiu chuckled softly, “Here you are, with a heart of stone, unwavering and resolute in your decision to sever all ties, yet you’re advising me not to be heartless, to continue pursuing love.”

Yan Li fell silent, unable to argue.

That night, Yu’er sat in her room, noticing the unusual silence outside. Curious, she stepped out only to find everyone missing. After a search, only Mo Wen was found in her room, busy preparing medicine.

When Yu’er mentioned that everyone was missing, Mo Wen joined her search.

In the distance, they spotted figures gathered in the flower field. As they approached, they saw everyone sprawled out among the flowers, empty wine jars scattered around them.

The cool breeze carried a light fragrance, making it an ideal spot for drinking under the moon.

Mo Wen protested, “How could you not invite me!”

Yu’er walked towards Qing Jiu and Yan Li. Yan Li, already drunk, was slumped over, her head resting on her hand.

Qing Jiu sat upright. Hearing footsteps, she turned to see Yu’er. Her eyes shone brightly, rivaling the moon’s brilliance. Yu’er couldn’t tell if she was drunk, but she stood there, quietly observing her, until Qing Jiu spoke. “Yu’er.”

Yu’er’s heart softened. She reached out her hand. “Let’s go back inside,” she said gently. “It’s getting cold.”

Qing Jiu’s gaze lingered on Yu’er’s face before shifting to her outstretched hand. Slowly, deliberately, she placed her hand in Yu’er’s, as if performing a sacred ritual.

Yu’er helped her up, leaving the others to Mo Wen, and walked with Qing Jiu back first.

As they walked, Qing Jiu looked at their joined hands, a soft chuckle escaping her lips, “This reminds me of six years ago,” she murmured. “That winter, on New Year’s Eve… It was like this. They were all drunk, but back then, it was you who was intoxicated, and I was the one leading you back to our room.”

“It feels like it was just yesterday, but it’s already been six years. Time flies so fast.”

Yu’er led Qing Jiu back to her room. She helped her out of her dusty outer robe, fetched a bowl of water, and dampened a cloth, kneeling before Qing Jiu to gently wipe her hands.

Qing Jiu asked, “Yu’er, are you still angry?”

Yu’er finished drying her hands and held them in her own. “Why would I be angry? Because of yesterday?”

“Qing Jiu, back then you personally promised when we exchanged our birth details, symbolized by the exchange of Shang Sheng for Si Ming. It’s as if we were engaged; you are my wife who hasn’t yet officially married me, and you can’t deny it.”

“If you try to back out with more excuses, I’ll tie you up and marry you tomorrow. Even if you don’t survive the winter, you will still be my wife!”

Qing Jiu suddenly looked up at her, “You…”

Yu’er said, “I heard it that night when you were talking with Mo Wen, and I knew then. I was angry because you underestimated me. Yu’er isn’t someone who can’t handle separation. You wanted to push me away over something like this…”

Qing Jiu stared at her, speechless for a long moment. Her chest tightened with every breath, a familiar ache blooming in her chest, her thoughts a tangled mess, “You knew…”

Yu’er caressed Qing Jiu’s hands tenderly, her voice soft, “I know.”

It was something that was bound to come out eventually…

Qing Jiu felt completely drained, her lower lip trembling as she spoke, “I don’t want to push you away. I want to be with you, but…”

Yu’er felt a tightness in her chest as the person in front of her, bathed in moonlight, let tears fall, their heat burning on Yu’er’s hands.

“Yu’er, I’m going to die.”

Yu’er had never seen her so vulnerable, so utterly defeated.

Her heart ached, tears welling up in her eyes. She couldn’t hold back any longer. She stood up and pulled Qing Jiu into a tight embrace, her voice choked with emotion, “Qing Jiu, you’re tearing my heart apart.”