Chapter 44
The ministers’ discussions in the study grew more intense over the course of half a month, and word of these deliberations gradually spread. Even the common people in the capital began to hear rumors, leading to much speculation.
Soon after, the Queen issued a decree enacting several new laws. However, this was a common occurrence and didn’t cause much of a stir.
During this half-month period, Wakako’s emotions fluctuated. From initial anxiety, she gradually began to question whether Miki had truly accepted their decision.
Given the Saint’s temperament, she would have reacted strongly if she were dissatisfied. Yet, for the past half-month, she had been as quiet as if she didn’t exist.
According to others, the Saint occasionally accepted the Queen’s invitations to discuss political matters, but otherwise remained secluded, focusing on recuperating.
For the first few days, Wakako still seemed a bit distracted. But after that, no one noticed anything out of the ordinary. To everyone else, it looked like she was back to her usual self.
Whether she was teaching the Crown Princess, going through her daily training, or even managing the selection of new recruits, she did it all with a smile, her dimples always showing.
Only her junior sister, Lin Lin, noticed something was wrong.
That evening, as Wakako was finishing her meal, she noticed Lin Lin watching her with a curious gaze.
“What’s wrong?” Wakako asked.
“Is something bothering you?”
“Why do you ask?”
Lin Lin spoke frankly. “You’ve been eating less.”
Wakako looked down at the empty bowls on the table and said. “It’s not that little, is it?”
She was the strongest and most skilled fighter in the team, and also… the biggest eater. She could eat as much as several people combined. For example, today she had eaten three large bowls of rice, leaving not a single grain behind.
“But you usually eat five bowls. You have two plates of snacks before your meal and three bowls of soup afterward,” Lin Lin pointed out sharply. “Today it’s only three bowls. I’m worried you’ll become thin.”
Wakako felt a mix of emotions at her words, unsure whether she should feel embarrassed.
Lin Lin lowered her voice. “Is it something to do with the Saint…?”
Lin Lin was eight years younger than Wakako and the most junior member of the team. She was the only one who had passed the selection process and joined the Alpha squad in the past five years. Wakako had personally taught her many of the skills required of a mercenary.
Their relationship was almost like that of sisters, so Lin Lin could see through Wakako’s facade and discern her true emotions.
Besides, today was the banquet the Queen had specifically arranged to welcome the Saint. Lin Lin was too young to attend, but Wakako had chosen not to go, which was certainly unusual.
Wakako initially intended to lie and brush it off, but the inner turmoil she had been grappling with for days resurfaced. She gave a bitter smile and admitted, “Yes.”
Lin Lin was still young and didn’t understand matters of the heart, but she was willing to listen.
Wakako opened her mouth, wanting to explain everything from beginning to end, but in the end, she only managed to say, “God does not permit it.”
Those words seemed to drain all the strength from her. Tears welled in her eyes, but they didn’t fall. She just stared at Lin Lin, her gaze empty and desolate.
Years of unspoken understanding made words unnecessary. Lin Lin instantly grasped the meaning and hesitated before asking, “Is there no chance?”
Wakako shook her head.
“It would lead to the Saint’s death,” she whispered.
Whether it was offering comfort or expressing righteous indignation, anything said now would feel inappropriate. Lin Lin knew that wasn’t what Wakako needed right now.
Lin Lin didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she stood up and fetched a jug of wine. “Want to try some of Master’s private stash?”
This wine was brewed by Carol and Albert together. They were from the same clan and were said to possess a special technique. Even from a distance, the fragrance was intoxicating.
Despite her young age, Lin Lin had a fondness for alcohol and would often try to persuade Wakako to join her in sneaking a drink, only to be chased and punished by their two masters.
“Again?” Wakako looked at her.
“They’re at the banquet and won’t be back for a while,” Lin Lin said with a straight face, but winked conspiratorially. “Let’s drink first and worry later. They say a good drink can wash away a thousand worries.”
She poured two full cups.
Wakako stared at the gently swaying surface of the wine. Wine, Miki… it was as if everything in the world transformed into that person’s name before her eyes.
Perhaps getting drunk would help.
Without hesitation, she downed the cup in one gulp. “More.”
Lin Lin refilled her cup.
“More.”
And again.
After a few cups, both of their faces began to show a faint flush, a sign of their growing intoxication.
Lin Lin suddenly spoke, “Senior Sister, I think the Saint really likes you.”
That day at the foot of the mountain, all three of them had been surrounded by wild beasts, rendered immobile by the overwhelming cherry-scented pheromones.
However, Lin Lin hadn’t undergone her presentation yet and was the least affected, so she didn’t fully lose consciousness. As the expressionless servant bound them and loaded them onto the carriage, she vaguely caught a glimpse of the Saint’s eyes…
Cold and indifferent, as red as a blood moon, especially when her gaze fell upon Miki.
But in the end, the Saint hadn’t harmed them. She had even ensured their safe return. Lin Lin didn’t believe this was because the Saint held her in any particular regard.
The love, the jealousy, the killing intent… it all stemmed from Wakako.
“You’re still young, you don’t understand these things.” Wakako replied.
“I’m not that young. I’m old enough to be married,” Lin Lin retorted, emboldened by the alcohol. She wouldn’t normally talk back, but now, with a hint of drunkenness, she argued, “The way the Saint looks at you is similar to how Senior Sister Liu Siruo looks at Master Carol, and how Master Albert looks at his fiancée.”
Wakako set down her cup and poured another, the jug nearly empty. “Is that so?” But her tone made it clear she didn’t believe it.
Lin Lin didn’t know what else to say and simply sighed.
Wakako suddenly spoke, “The Saint once gave me wine.”
The Saint, being physically frail, wasn’t supposed to drink. But wine tasting was part of royal etiquette, something she had to learn. So, from a young age, a master brewer had been assigned to teach her.
Back then, Miki had forced Wakako to diligently study, but even after a long time, her handwriting remained messy. So, Miki instructed her to practice by copying her own notes.
The Saint’s notes contained numerous wine recipes and information about different types of alcohol.
As Wakako practiced, her mind wandered. She became curious about the wines described in the notes and begged Miki to let her try some, even just a sip.
As a reward for her efforts, the Saint had a jar of exquisite wine delivered to her room.
At the time, Miki had said, “Drink some whenever you wish, but remember that alcohol can cloud your judgment. Drink in moderation and never overdo it.”
One idle afternoon, Wakako, driven by curiosity, took a few sips. Who hasn’t indulged in their youth? She soon forgot the Saint’s warning and drank until she was completely intoxicated, losing all sense of herself.
When Miki returned, she found Wakako lying on her bed, clutching one of the Saint’s undergarments tightly to her chest, inhaling its scent as if it could calm the restless turmoil in her heart.
From that point on, Wakako’s memory became hazy. The last thing she remembered was kneeling on the bed like a dog, fully clothed, yet the Saint’s hand was wet.
Miki lay beneath her, her robes wrinkled and disheveled, looking up at Wakako with a gentle voice, “I warned you not to drink so much. Why did you get so drunk?”
Wakako was startled and quickly sat up, filled with panic. “I… what did I do?”
“I hadn’t even said a few words to you,” the Saint raised her soiled hand, “and you insisted on getting on top of me, you couldn’t even wait…”
There was a slight tease in her tone. “Are you satisfied now?”
Wakako was completely speechless, frozen in place.
After a long silence, her face flushed red, she covered her face with her hands, and let out a piercing scream.
“How could this happen? How could this happen—!!!”
Had she, in her drunken state, forced herself on the Saint, using her strength to violate her hand? She felt she might as well die right then and there. How could something so shameful have happened?
The other guards outside were alarmed by the scream and rushed into the courtyard, knocking on the door. “What’s going on? Protect the Saint!”
Miki called out, assuring them that she had only accidentally spilled something and told them not to panic.
Then, she looked at Wakako, who remained kneeling on the floor with her face covered, and said, “Well? Aren’t you going to clean my hand?”
Only then did Wakako remember that the Saint’s hand was still dirty. She slowly stood up, her arms trembling, and carefully cleaned her master’s hand.
She hung her head, tears of shame welling up in her eyes, almost ready to spill over.
How could she have been so disgraceful, so depraved… Would the Saint now see her as a shameless servant?
A moment later, a cool hand brushed against her cheek, wiping away the tears that were about to fall.
“Don’t cry,” Miki said softly, pulling Wakako into her embrace. “It’s okay to get drunk once in a while. Don’t be sad.”
Wakako buried her face in the Saint’s shoulder, whimpering like a little puppy.
This sort of thing happened many more times after that, but it wasn’t until much later that Wakako realized it had all been part of her mischievous master’s plan.
Whenever she got drunk, Miki would deliberately use herself as bait, luring Wakako into such situations, only to feign concern afterward and comfort her—all just to see Wakako overwhelmed with shame and brought to tears.
When Wakako finally discovered the truth, she was furious for the first time. She refused to speak to the Saint for several days, her face set in a stern expression, and her usual dimples nowhere to be seen.
That wicked Miki… How could she betray her trust like that?
But then, the Saint would tug at her sleeve, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears, her lips trembling as if to speak but holding back, and, just when Wakako least expected it, two tears would slip down her cheeks. With a soft voice tinged with melancholy, she would say:
“It was my fault. Please forgive me, Little Waka. Don’t be angry with me anymore.”
She looked so pitiful that Wakako’s anger would dissolve on the spot. How could she stay mad at her?
Whenever Wakako thought back to those moments, a smile would inevitably spread across her face, sweet like honey melting in her mouth. Even now, as she drank with Lin Lin, the memory brought that same smile.
But the sweetness soon turned bitter.
Wakako stared blankly ahead, her eyes devoid of life. “Lin Lin, I wish I had died at eighteen,” she said.
Previously, she hadn’t understood Miki’s words on the mountain about “dying in the prime of youth,” but now she seemed to grasp their meaning.
If Wakako could choose, she would have wanted to die in those carefree years when her world revolved entirely around Miki, when they spent their days close together, oblivious to everything else.
But she was still alive. And Miki was still alive.
So she couldn’t die. She couldn’t die just yet.
Lin Lin, less intoxicated than Wakako, frowned at her drunken ramblings and abruptly stood up.
“Alright, that’s enough drinking,” she said, pulling Wakako’s arm without hesitation. “Let’s go outside for some fresh air and sober up.”
“Where to?”
“They’re all at the banquet, no one’s around. We can go anywhere.”
Wakako suddenly felt a surge of courage from somewhere deep inside.
“Then… let’s go to the Saint’s residence.”
