Chapter 45
The mercenaries were often summoned by the Queen, so they had residences both inside and outside the palace. These were located some distance from the Saint’s residence, but it wasn’t difficult for them to get there.
Since the Saint was at the banquet with the Queen and the ministers, there weren’t as many guards on duty outside the courtyard.
Moreover, most of them recognized Wakako and Lin Lin, so they respectfully greeted the two mercenaries from a distance without raising any suspicion.
Not far from the Saint’s residence lay a scenic lake, its water feeding the small pond in front of the main hall. The area was quiet and empty. The two sat by the lake, watching a few wild ducks glide playfully across the freshly thawed surface.
Spring is almost here, Senior Sister,” Lin Lin murmured, her gaze fixed on the ducks as if lost in a distant thought. “Last winter, I didn’t think I’d make it… but here I am, still alive.”
Like Wakako, she was an orphan of unknown origins.
The difference was that Lin Lin had no prior knowledge of mercenaries. She only joined the selection because she heard they provided food and shelter, which ended up changing her life.
Wakako picked up two stones from the ground and challenged Lin Lin to see who could skip them farther across the water. Naturally, she won without question.
“Yes, everyone has their own fate,” Wakako also stared at the lake, unsure what she was looking at. “There were many times in the past when I thought I was going to die, but I still survived.”
“Living is good,” Lin Lin said, her tone firm as she tried to dispel her senior sister’s gloomy thoughts. “As long as we’re alive, there’s still hope. But once you’re gone, it’s all over.”
But Wakako’s mind drifted back to the prophecy she had received at the divine temple.
Even if she slit her wrists and offered her blood, it wouldn’t make any difference. Her insignificant life, even sacrificed in protest, would only amount to a small mound of earth in the distance.
She was nothing more than a speck of dust in this world.
As the alcohol gradually clouded her mind, the suppressed bitterness she had buried deep within began to surface.
Wakako leaned against a nearby pillar, her gaze distant as she blurted out, “Lin Lin, do you think people like us are destined to be lesser because of where we come from?”
“No,” Lin Lin paused, then said, “We’re no different from anyone else. In fact, to get where we are now, we’ve worked harder than most.”
“Then why can’t we even enter the divine temple?”
The divine temple strictly barred servants and street urchins from entering, declaring that their presence would taint the sanctity of God.
Though Wakako now bore the title of mercenary, as a child, she could only stand at the temple gates, watching enviously as others entered with smiles and laughter.
Back then, she wondered if being born without parents meant she was destined to be as lowly as dirt. But what choice did she ever have?
Lin Lin had experienced the same thing.
As she recalled those unpleasant memories, Lin Lin’s fist clenched gently.
“But we can enter now,” Lin Lin said with a grin. “Even if they look down on us, we can walk in with our heads held high. We can even throw stones at their heads if we want to.”
With that, the junior sister threw a stone into the water with a loud “thunk.”
Wakako couldn’t help but chuckle. “Stones aren’t enough. It’d be better to bring in a little puppy…”
Lin Lin continued in a serious tone, “And let it pee on them.”
The two of them laughed together for a good while, saying things that would be considered highly inappropriate if overheard, but in their drunken state, they cared only for their own amusement, not the opinions of others.
After a while, Lin Lin fell asleep, drunk. She was the type who couldn’t hold her liquor but loved to drink, and now she was tipsy and sleepy.
Wakako, on the other hand, felt a bit more sober after the breeze hit her. She chatted with her junior sister a little longer, then hugged her knees and buried her head, trying to block out a certain scent.
Even from this distance, even though the Saint wasn’t in the courtyard, she could still detect that familiar cherry fragrance.
The fact that mercenaries were trained specifically in scent detection was certainly part of the reason, but it was more because Wakako had been surrounded by that particular fragrance for far too long.
Five years ago, she thought she would never smell it again. Now that she could be close to it once more, she found herself having to push it away with her own hands.
It was like a scar that seemed healed, only to be torn open again, exposing the raw, festering flesh beneath that had never truly stopped bleeding.
It hurts.
It hurt even more than when Miki had whipped her with flower branches.
The difference was, she liked Miki’s punishments, but she despised God’s disdain.
Wakako knew she was of low birth, but she had worked so hard.
As a child, she fought tooth and nail with other street urchins for a scrap of food. While serving the Saionji clan, she was diligent and attentive. Later, as a mercenary, she never exploited her natural talents for selfish gain.
Lin Lin, on the other hand, was young and frail, unable to withstand rigorous training. Meanwhile, Liu Siruo only put in real effort when Carol was watching.
But Wakako was always the most diligent, never slacking off for a single day. She trained when others trained, and she continued training when others rested.
Her inability to feel pain was merely a bonus. While her talent was undeniable, it didn’t mean her hard work should be overlooked.
She was called the “Human Weapon” by other mercenaries for a simple reason — she had mastered every weapon. Her fingertips, the webbing between her thumb and forefinger, and her palms were all hardened with thick calluses, each one a testament to countless hours of relentless training.
Wakako knew she wasn’t particularly smart. Even after years of practice, her handwriting was still crooked, and no matter how many times she read poetry, she could never memorize it. But that didn’t matter; she simply poured her efforts into what she excelled at.
She thought she had done well enough. Mercenaries valued strength, and her colleagues admired her.
She believed she was no longer that despised, scorned street urchin. Within the palace, people addressed her with deference, calling her “Lady Kitagawa.”
But in that moment, as Wakako met the lifeless gaze of the divine statue in the temple, she was confronted with a reflection of her old self. Every effort, every struggle suddenly felt meaningless — none of it had changed her own insignificance.
She felt unworthy of standing beside Miki. Just being near her seemed like a stain on something pure, a weight that could only drag the Saint down from the clouds.
Wakako hated the God who denied her, and she hated herself even more.
If she had been born into nobility or royalty, everything would have been different… If she were the Queen, she could have been betrothed to Miki, standing proudly at her side for all to see, with no need to hide or feel unworthy.
But such thoughts were merely a dream.
Despite burying her head in her knees, the scent of cherries seemed to grow stronger, and Wakako couldn’t help but take a deep breath.
No matter the time or place, the familiar scent of cherries always soothed her anxiety and frustration, bringing her a sense of calm.
The lingering taste of alcohol still stimulated her senses, and she desperately craved Miki’s scent… not from a distance like she was now.
Wakako lifted her head. She knew she should leave. “Lin Lin,” she called.
But her junior sister was already fast asleep on the bench by the lake, snugly wrapped in a warm cloak, refusing to come out.
Wakako could easily carry Lin Lin back to their quarters, but at that moment, she hesitated. There was something else she could easily do: enter the Saint’s residence.
Miki’s teacup, Miki’s cloak, Miki’s undergarments, Miki’s bed… anything would do, as long as it carried Miki’s scent.
Only when she was enveloped in that fragrance did she feel safe, secure, and unafraid.
The alcohol flushed her cheeks, and like a puppet on a string, Wakako walked towards the guards outside the Saint’s residence. They immediately inquired, “Lady Kitagawa?”
She heard herself say, “My junior sister fell asleep by the lake. Would it be possible for her to rest here for a while?”
The night was still cold, and falling asleep outside could be dangerous; one could easily freeze without realizing it.
The courtyard next to the Saint’s residence was empty.
The guards, who held the keys, opened the door for her and watched as she carried Lin Lin inside.
Lin Lin slept soundly in the warm bed, while Wakako climbed over the wall and entered the Saint’s residence.
She lifted the curtain and approached the bed.
Even in her drunken state, she didn’t forget her manners. The Saint valued cleanliness above all else, and one couldn’t approach her without bathing.
She had bathed after training today, but after spending time by the lake, her clothes were naturally not clean enough.
Wakako removed her cloak and the black shirt commonly worn by mercenaries, leaving only her undergarments, and slowly lay down on the bed.
The fragrance was so strong, so intoxicating.
It was like lying on a cherry tree, enveloped by countless cherries, fresh and sweet, as if spring had suddenly arrived and would never fade.
She longed to taste one, but she couldn’t. She could only bury her face in Miki’s pillow.
Nobles used jade pillows, believing that jade could nourish the body. Miki had once gifted Wakako with one, but she simply wasn’t meant to enjoy such luxuries, preferring instead the cheap, soft pillows filled with various grains.
After that, the Saint also switched to grain-filled pillows and continued to use them to this day. But the Saint was accustomed to finer things; this wasn’t a matter of personal preference.
It was simply because Wakako, who stood guard at night, would sometimes come in to sleep for a while, and this way, she could sleep more comfortably.
Because Wakako liked them, such cheap and humble items were allowed on the Saint’s bed.
At the foot of the bed was a small garment. Wakako picked it up, placed it on the pillow, and inhaled deeply, filled with deep longing.
Miki.
It was as if she were holding Miki in her arms. She needed nothing else; it was so warm, so blissful.
Wakako curled up slightly, shutting out everything else, and then, unable to resist, she reached out and touched herself.
She was no longer quite sure what she was doing.
She only knew that she was a wicked, wicked servant, holding her master’s clothes, pleasuring herself in her master’s bed, aroused by the mere scent of her.
Miki.
Saint.
Master.
Tears fell from Wakako’s eyes onto the grain-filled pillow. She had never felt as weak and vulnerable as she did now, wanting nothing more than to escape from the world, to stay on this bed filled with Miki’s scent forever, never to leave.
This could be her temporary haven.
“Miki…”
The lowly sunflower slowly bloomed.
“Saint…”
The scent of sunflowers intertwined with the scent of cherries, causing the ripe cherries to fall from the branches, sinking into the soil.
“Master…”
The sunflower secreted nectar, but there were no bees to collect it, leaving it to dry alone.
But even this was enough to bring her to climax again and again.
Wakako opened her eyes and then closed them again. In a daze, she saw a familiar white figure standing before the bed.
She couldn’t tell if it was a dream or reality.
***
At the banquet, a servant hurried to the Queen’s side and whispered, “Your Majesty, the Saint has excused herself due to feeling unwell and has asked to be escorted back to her residence.”
He paused, then added, “Lady Kitagawa and Lady Lin Lin were seen near the lake earlier.”
The Queen remained silent. She had the opportunity to prevent the two from becoming too close and incurring the wrath of God, right now.
After a long moment, she said in a low voice, “Leave it be.”
The servant bowed respectfully and retreated without another word.
The Queen had promised the Saint an answer, and this was her choice.
