Chapter 98
They had been incredibly cautious—Lin Lin and Muna had made sure to leave no trace, no evidence of their presence. Their actions were meticulous, calculated. By all logic, they shouldn’t have been discovered.
And yet, here they were, surrounded by precisely twenty people. Not too many to raise suspicion, but just enough for an ambush.
If someone said this wasn’t planned, they were lying.
Lin Lin’s fingers hovered over the signal flare in her sleeve, debating whether to release it. It was the fastest way to call for help, but once the smoke filled the sky, their position would be revealed instantly.
For now, their opponents hadn’t made a move. Clearly, they were still sizing up the three’s fighting capabilities.
Lin Lin’s forehead dripped with cold sweat. If only Wakako was here—twenty enemies would be nothing to her. But… but she and Muna weren’t skilled in close combat, and they had to protect the Saint. What were they supposed to do?
If they had the element of surprise, it might be different. But… here they were, cornered in the woods by the port, the outcome almost certain.
They were too far to call for help using the communication stone.
Muna was equally anxious, but being a few years older than Lin Lin, she knew now was not the time to lose their heads. Taking a deep breath, she made a difficult decision. “I’ll act as a decoy and buy us some time. Lin Lin, you protect the Saint and find a chance to use the signal flare. Try to contact Captain Jing and the others if you can.”
“What? There’s no way you can handle twenty of them!” Lin Lin protested, her voice tight with fear. “That’s suicide!”
“We don’t have time to argue,” Muna frowned. “Lin Lin, have you forgotten the rules? As a junior, you need to follow orders in dangerous situations!”
Lin Lin’s eyes welled with tears as she looked at the senior who hadn’t been around long but had always taken care of everyone in silence.
“You two…” came a soft voice.
Wrapped in black veil, with only her amber eyes visible, Miki’s presence was as deep as the night itself. “Have you forgotten about me?”
Muna was startled. “Lady Saint, what do you mean…?”
The Saint calmly removed the black veil from her head. Her fingers were delicate and pale, without a single callus—the very picture of fragility, yet the words from her lips were anything but fragile.
Her eyes gleamed with an unreadable light. “Lin Lin, Wakako once praised your archery skills. With me guiding you, could you make sure your arrows never miss in the dark?”
Lin Lin instantly understood what she meant. A rush of heat surged from her fingertips to her heart. “I can!”
Even if she couldn’t, she had to!
The Saint asked again, “What if instead of arrows, you used tree branches?”
Her hand brushed against a nearby tree trunk.
“This wood is highly poisonous. Break off branches to use as arrows, and they’ll be lethal with just a scratch. Do you dare to try?”
Lin Lin replied in a low, determined voice. “I’ll do whatever you command, Lady Saint!”
“Good,” the Saint smiled slightly. “I trust you’re familiar with ambush tactics, so I won’t go into details. Against these men, we will… ambush them.”
Both Lin Lin and Muna were both shocked.
An ambush… One of the most ancient tactics, its roots traced back to the hunting strategies of beasts. A pride of lions often used this—driving their prey into a trap while others lay in wait, ready to pounce. But they weren’t a pride of lions. Here and now, there were only two of them.
How could two ambush twenty?
***
“Are you sure you don’t want to try it one more time?” Old Chen’s lips curled into an odd smile, like a venomous snake hissing from the grass.
Wakako stared at the leaf in her hand.
Sun-dried and yellowed, it was so fragile it could crumble between her fingertips. It just lay there, still in her palm. All she had to do was raise her wrist and place it in her mouth. Then, she wouldn’t have to think or care about anything anymore.
“Go on… Just one bite,” Old Chen’s voice was soft, coaxing. “No one will know. Not heaven, not earth, just you and me.”
“Go on, eat it… Go back and see her, the who haunts your dreams, the one your heart aches for.”
“She must miss you too.”
Wakako continued to stare at the leaf silently.
She said, “Alright.”
Old Chen’s smile deepened. Yes, that’s right, eat it, lose yourself in the illusion, never wake up, escape from reality, live in a drunken dream, become a slave to your desires…
Even the snake couldn’t resist poking its head out of the grass.
After a long moment, Wakako’s hand finally moved.
But instead of bringing the leaf to her mouth, she crushed it in her palm, leaving only dried fragments that scattered on the carriage floor with each bump of the wheels.
Old Chen’s expression changed abruptly, a mix of shock and confusion. “You…”
“You were right,” Wakako said calmly. “I do want to see her again. And yes, I’ve tasted this before. It felt… wonderful.”
Memories from seventeen years ago were already fading, even in her dreams. The faces of many people, even her mother, were becoming blurry.
What did she look like again? Wakako had almost forgotten.
Those dreams had brought her back to the Saionji Household, where everything was so familiar, every tree, every blade of grass. It was as if nothing had ever changed. She could wave and laugh with old friends, staying by her master’s side like before.
She could almost convince herself that the past hadn’t happened at all.
If there were a way to return to that time, Wakako would give anything to make it real.
But it wasn’t real.
None of it was.
“Then eat it?!” Old Chen’s face gradually contorted, his voice frantic, almost a shout, “Why won’t you eat it?”
Wakako slowly closed her eyes.
“You lied about having a daughter, didn’t you?” she said. “If you really cared about her, you’d have her picture in your pouch, wouldn’t you”
Old Chen’s expression wavered, panic flickering across his face, “No… that’s not true. They really did die from that terrible illness…!”
“And yet, here you are hoarding this drug like it’s your lifeline. Is it really for them, or is it just for yourself?”
Old Chen couldn’t manage to say a word in response.
Wakako smiled knowingly, “If you truly wanted to see them again, you’d have already consumed this drug yourself. But here you are, still alive and well. You’ve been using their memory to cover your own greed.”
Why are people always refuse to be honest about their desires?
She was no different.
She reached into the pouch, grabbing the remaining leaves. With a quick twist of her hand, she crushed them all into powder and let them scatter in the wind through the carriage window. The dry, brittle fragments danced in the air for one final time before vanishing.
“Of course, I want to see her again,” she said softly. “In fact, I wish I could wake up to her face every day. But I still won’t take this drug.”
“Because I don’t need an illusion to see her.”
“She’s still alive. She’s… right here with me.”
Five years ago, when Wakako thought Miki was dead, it felt like her entire world had collapsed. She wandered through life in a daze, barely aware of anything around her. To this day, she hated recalling the depths of that despair.
Later, under the threat of God, she had considered giving up everything. Partly out of concern for Miki’s life, but also because…
She couldn’t endure that kind of pain again.
She couldn’t bear to watch Miki die again. Even the brief thought of it, fleeting as it was, felt like a knife slowly cutting through her heart.
In the beginning, Wakako had thought this fear was born from love. But now she understood—it was really her own fear of getting hurt again.
If only Miki were a little weaker. If only Miki didn’t grab her hand so firmly every time, or refuse to back down, even if it meant facing divine punishment.
The Saint, once so delicate, had suffered so much—all for Wakako’s sake.
But even now, she never wavered. That’s who Miki was.
How could Miki ever back down?
Just like when she was twelve, she would kill that arrogant music teacher for Wakako’s sake, even if it meant being punished afterwards and suffering through illness. She hadn’t so much as flinched.
That day, through tear-filled eyes, Miki had asked her, “Do you like the sixteen-year-old me more? Do you dislike who I am now?”
At first, Wakako did think Miki had changed a lot over the years, that she had shed her youthful innocence and become nothing more than a cold, distant Saint—like a rose in full bloom, beautiful but covered in thorns.
But now she understood. That wasn’t true at all.
The sixteen-year-old in her illusions was Miki, yes.
But wasn’t the twenty-two-year-old Miki also the same person?
Did she want to become like this? Wouldn’t she rather smile every day without a care in the world?
She had simply… had no choice.
Back then, watching Liu Siruo lose her composure over Carol, even fighting others. She hadn’t understood it. Why didn’t her Senior Sister just confess her feelings to Master Carol? Whatever the outcome, at least there would be closure.
It was easy to see clearly when looking from the outside. But when it came to her own situation, Wakako was just as lost.
Staring at the remnants of the crushed leaves on the floor, Wakako found herself murmuring, “Why do I need to lose myself in illusions?”
“I… I still have the chance to hold her in reality. She’s still here… Maybe one day she’ll be gone, but not today.”
“Why can’t I… hold onto her just once?”
She feared loss, and so did Miki, yet Miki still wanted to become her wife.
Even if their time together was brief, even if it was fleeting like a morning bloom that withers by dusk.
Wakako could picture Miki’s tear-streaked face again, each drop falling straight into her heart.
She remembered a verse she’d once heard Miki recite.
“Better to cherish the one in front of you.”
